lae.org Instructional Advocacy New Teacher Guide

When Is It Safe to Touch?

Good judgment is crucial since students can misperceive even an innocent touch as sexual.

When teachers and other school employees fail to use good judgment and intentionally or naively engage in risky behavior with students, they leave themselves wide open to charges of inappropriate conduct.

Doing it right starts with exercising good judgment and considering the following factors:

AGE OF THE STUDENT

For kindergarten through the second grade, touching is almost impossible to avoid, but as students grow older the acceptability of touching and hugging decreases. Girls in the middle grades, in particular, are increasingly aware of their sexuality. They often interpret touches, even on the back or shoulder, as sexual in nature. Typically, school employees get into trouble with this age group for patting knees, putting arms around shoulders, putting hands on waists and even "looking at me funny." Very little touching is acceptable in the higher grades. Educators most often get in trouble with this group when they try to counsel troubled students, especially about sexual or romantic matters.

EDUCATOR'S SEX

Males are most often viewed as sexual aggressors and must review their behavior in that light.

CULTURE/PERSONAL FACTORS

Some individuals and cultures are very uncomfortable with any forms of touching. Educators must be sensitive and, if the student, by word or action, indicates he/she is uncomfortable with touching, the educator should avoid physical contact. Children who have previously been sexually abused may misperceive a neutral touch as a sexual touch.

Some actions, even if not tainted with improper motive, are common trouble areas to be avoided:

REPEATED ONE-TO-ONE CONTACT WITH AN INDIVIDUAL STUDENT

Try to rotate before- and after-school chores/privileges among the students. Include boys and girls. Try to have more than one student involved at a time.

SOCIAL ACTIVITIES WITH STUDENTS

Taking students to movies or inviting them to your house poses high risks. If you intend to have an out-of-school activity as a reward, notify the parents and principal well in advance and stress the educational purpose of the reward.

DRIVING STUDENTS IN CARS

Students who are in cars alone with educators often say they were molested.

GIVING GIFTS TO STUDENTS

If you wish to give gifts to students as a reward, first discuss it with the principal. Make sure it is not expensive or personal such as perfume or flowers. Notify parents in writing as to the reward system and its educational purpose.

WRITING CARDS, NOTES OR LETTERS TO STUDENTS

Be careful what you write, including what you say in yearbooks. Keep such messages professional and keep your distance. Avoid any expressions of personal affection.

Other actions will be GROUNDS FOR DISCIPLINE and are very difficult to explain:

1. Any request for affection like a kiss or a hug.
2. Any touch, except on the shoulder, upper middle back and arms. This is especially problematic for girls in grades four through nine. Avoid "lingering" touches.
3. Requests for sex or dates.
4. Any lascivious or sexual remarks or jokes.
5. Remarks about body parts. Remarks about appearance and dress are questionable.
6. Touching boys and girls differently, for example hugging girls but not boys. Even if not sexual, it is sexist and wrong.
7. Any sexual contact with students.
8. Sexual contact with former students, even if the students are over age 18, poses risks to job security.
9. Giving alcohol to students, or former students under 21. This includes lending ID to underage students.

Investigators often look for the profile of a deviant that includes patterns of being alone with students, isolating students from friends and family, establishing "special" relationships with students and substituting oneself for the student's normal sources of affection, such as parents. Whether done innocently or not, educators fitting this profile are more than likely presumed guilty when charged.

If you hug, use a side hug and insist your students do the same. If you touch, use the "universal safe touch" on the shoulder, upper middle back and the arm. If you meet with a student alone, leave the door wide open. The most dangerous behavior is establishing a special relationship with one student.

Educators who exercise good judgment and observe proper behavior not only are more likely to avoid trouble, they help assure that students remain safe.